Can You Choose Your Feelings?

When working with couples in counseling, David Pearl’s focus is to help his clients interact with each other intentionally instead of reactively.  An example of a reactive response is when anger gets triggered. Anger is a secondary emotion which shields us from more painful and vulnerable emotions, such as shame, loneliness, or sadness. In relationships, we often use anger as a defense mechanism to  protect ourselves from something hurtful that our partner has said, or something that will effect us in an unwanted way.

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The Magic of Mirroring

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When working with couples in therapy, relationship expert David Pearl works to facilitate better communication and a deeper connection between partners. “Mirroring” is  one technique Pearl teaches to couples in this process, in order to reduce reactivity and increase empathy.  How mirroring works is that a partner will share an aspect of the relationship which they see as problematic.  After carefully listening, the other partner will repeat exactly (or mirror) what was just said, until the speaker feels fully heard and understood. Turns are taken and specific issues are chosen to be examined in more depth.  This exercise enables both parties to ultimately feel cared for and understood by their significant other.

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Managing Stress through Breathing Exercises

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Laura Paret, PhD is a child and adolescent clinical psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) here at Union Square Practice. Part of her work using CBT—which centers on changing the way one thinks and behaves—involves teaching behavioral techniques to young children and adolescents to improve their ability to self-regulate. (more…)

Managing Anxiety during Pregnancy

For many women, becoming pregnant is not only a joyous experience, but also one fraught with anxiety. What’s that twinge I’m feeling? What if something goes wrong? What if I’m not a good mom? Is the baby moving enough?—Too much??—HELP!!! Anxiety during pregnancy can spiral out of control if we’re not careful, but there are things that every pregnant woman can do to help manage the anxiety she feels. (more…)